There is no remedy for love but to love more. – Henry David Thoreau
What does that mean?
This quote is about love. Deep and intense, possibly even romantic. While some might hide from love after a loss, this quote posits that the proper solution is more love.
A remedy for something is a way to fix something. A cold remedy helps you get over the miserable feeling brought about by a cold. A remedy for love would help you get over the miserable feeling brought about by the loss of love.
The fix, according to the quote, is to love more. Not hiding from it, not turning your back on it, but embracing it. Loving more, accepting, forgiving, and welcoming them back is the preferred response.
More love. It isn’t always the easiest response, or even the first one thinks of in these situations. However, I agree with the quote. It is the proper and best way to deal with the loss of love.
Why is even more love important?
Note that this doesn’t apply when you have been abused or otherwise violated in a fundamental manner. This isn’t a quote that says go back for more abuse. But for normal infractions which damage or even break trust, and therefore love, the proper response is to love them more.
Whether you are in this situation because a friend didn’t do what you wanted or expected (feeling of betrayal), or because you have lost someone you loved, or even a lover, turning away from love isn’t the answer. Yes, the instinctive reaction is to withdraw and protect your heart, but it isn’t the best answer.
There will be times when a little time must pass. The more abusive the breaking of the bonds of love, the more time it will take. However, even then, hiding away forever isn’t much of a solution, is it? Yes, it is true, by hiding away you won’t be hurt again.
But do you live to not be hurt? Or do you live to love? To love is to open oneself to be hurt. It is the same to breathe. Do you cut off your nose because you smell something unpleasant? I hope not. You might hold it for a moment, but then you go back to breathing normally. Same for love.
Where can I apply this in my life?
We all have had times when we have been hurt. Friends, mentors, even lovers have broken our hearts. How or why isn’t really important, is it? It hurts, and we want to make the hurt go away. Our first instinct is usually to hide as much as we can.
For those times when abuse of our trust or of our selves is involved, yes some time for healing is necessary. But it is equally necessary to learn from our experience and get back out there and love again. Just as deeply, just as warmly, without reservation.
Take a moment and think back to a time when you were hurt by someone you loved, either as a friend, a mentor, or a lover. Yes, you may have withdrawn for a brief time, but you eventually came back. If not in every case, at least in some, right?
And in some aspect of your life, you are at least as trusting and as deeply giving as you were before, if not more. Again, perhaps not in every case, but certainly in some of them. Does that not prove the point of the quote, from your own experience?
Now take a moment and try to identify where in your life you are still at that place where you are hiding your heart from the potential for injury. When will you bring it out of hiding? When will you allow it to rejoin the world? When will you allow it to risk both the times of the heights of greatness, as well as the times of pain?
Because that is the trade-off we make when we hide or protect our heart. It is one thing to take reasonable precautions, but it is quite another to make our heart unavailable. While we prevent it from being hurt, we also prevent it from feeling the joy of love.
In the long run, which do you think hurts you more, not loving, or loving and having been hurt? Alfred Lord Tennyson, a poet of some repute, answered this question” “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
By extension, what do you do after losing love? Not love again? Not according to today’s quote, nor according to Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote. In my experience, I would have to agree with them. We must have courage, we must believe we are worthy (hint: we are), and we must love again.
Always remember that which was good. That which was not, it will fade with time. And always love again.
From: Twitter, @Quotes_on_Love
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid103440.html
Photo by Caitlin Doe