In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. – Mignon McLaughlin
What does that mean?
It means love is Non-Euclidean (that’s a math joke, for those who don’t get the reference). That said, what the quote is talking about is how love doesn’t follow the normal rules of mathematics.
One plus one should equal two, but the quote says that it equals everything. For those who have been head-over-heels in love, this part of the quote makes perfect sense. When you’re apart, all you think of is being together again. And when you are together, it truly feels like you have everything.
The other half, two minus one, should equal one. But the quote says that it equals nothing. Again, for those who have been head-over-heels in love, this part of the quote makes perfect sense. It’s the exact opposite of the prior equation. When you’re apart, nothing is any good anymore.
Why is it important to have someone to whom you are close?
While the quote is specifically about love, it can also be very similar to the feelings you have for a very close friend. But without the romantic entanglements. Many of the people I talked to didn’t really understand, so perhaps I’m a little weird, but that’s how my life is.
Today, this person might be called a BFF. In the past they might have been called a confidante. Note that this doesn’t preclude a romance, but for the purposes of this post, I want to focus on the non-romantic relationship. Extending to a romantic relationship is left as an exercise for the reader.
Have you ever shared a special moment with a friend? A great sunset? A hummingbird that seemed to think your ear was a flower? A secret? An old story or one with a special meaning to the two of you? These are the things which help to bind us together as special friends, and this is what warps math into irrelevancy.
Where can I apply this in my life?
I imagine you already have, at some level, in your life. Probably more than once. Do you have, or have you ever had, a friend who you wanted to go to the movies or a concert with, because it would be fun to talk with them about it afterwords?
How about someone with whom it was fun to go to dinner with because of the company or the conversation? What about someone to talk to when you need advice, or just to unload some of your problems? All of these are the kinds of people, and the kinds of relationships of which I speak.
Take a moment and think back through your life and see how many people fit that description, even if loosely. I was amazed at how many people I found in my past. Some were obvious, others a little less so. And all these people for a dedicated introvert.
In college, I was so close to a friend that we could, and often did, finish each-other’s sentences. The bond kept us fairly close for many years past graduation. Eventually, we spent a few years in the same town, and he helped me out during my divorce. In turn, a few years later, I was able to return the favor when he was between houses and needed a place to stay.
Who was on your list? How many fit the basic description in some phase of, and in some aspect of, your life? Where are these people now? Depending on your age and their luck, some may be gone, but others are likely still around. Somewhere. But how would you go about fining them?
Since you’re reading this on a computer, you can try different search engines. Could you try to find them through a school or some other reunion? You can also try finding groups of people they might know or hang out with.
What were their hobbies or interests, and where are there groups which cater to those people? If you can’t find them directly, you can try to find mutual friends and see if they kept up with them. There are so many ways, right?
But once you get back in touch with them, how do you bridge the years? I have had good luck starting with “Do you remember the time we…” But the whole point of the exercise is to add them back into the equation. Even if it’s only once or twice a year, the connection means more than just 1+1, and it can also mean a whole lot more.
Who is missing from your life? Who do you want to add back in? Is there someone you have a connection with, or once did, and would like to make it stronger? It’s up to you. These friendships are part of what make our lives memorable. I feel they are worth a great deal, what value to they have for you?
From: Twitter, @Quotes_on_Love
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mignonmcla125518.html
Photo by snyderneff