The hottest love has the coldest end.


The hottest love has the coldest end. – Socrates

A well tended fire burns neither too hot nor too cold. How do you prefer your romances?

A well tended fire burns neither too hot nor too cold. How do you prefer your romances?

What does that mean?
This quote caught my eye as there was recently a discussion on one of my other posts about how love ends.

The quote starts by talking about the hottest love, which is fairly easy to understand. That is the love with great heat and is often accompanied by lots of demonstrations thereof, often in public. It is energetic, it is enthusiastic, and it is far too often doomed.

The coldest end could mean different things to different people. Is it the cold of indifference, where you don’t even acknowledge they exist, or is it the cold fire which burns icy hot, where you actively try to make their life miserable?

In either case, the coldest end doesn’t happen for casual acquaintances or even for moderately close friends. The coldest end is reserved for those for whom you once had the hottest love, right? And that is the whole point of the quote, as I see it.

Why is moderation in love important?  
Moderation in love, isn’t that a little crazy? Nope. I’m just suggesting you take a little crazy off the love. Unless you’re just looking for a great time, and don’t mind the crash that will come with it, at the end. The idea is to avoid both the great heat that goes with the great love, and as well as the terrible cold, which comes with the end.

At least in my experience, when love goes too fast, or burns too hot, it has never ended well. Kind of like stars, the brightest ones burn too quickly and explode. Not the neighborhood you want to hang out in, right? You want to be around a smaller star, where the heat is just right, and it lasts a long time.

While you may not have had a white-hot romance before, you probably have seen someone in one, and have seen how they end. If you want it to last a little longer, you might want to take a little of the heat out. That level of moderation can bake a big difference in the path a romance takes. Some may like it hot, but what do you want to be left with in the end?

Where can I apply this in my life?
Wow. I’m in an interesting mood, when I compare moderation in love to the life cycles of stellar bodies. I hope you could follow that. If not, the point is the biggest, brightest and hottest stars are the ones which blow up in the most spectacular explosions, and leave behind a black hole, the coldest and sucking-est thing in the universe.

Relationships, like all things in life, have cycles. Sometimes it will be hotter, other times it will be colder. The idea is to add some heat at the right time, and enjoy the heat at the other times. Defining which is which, and agreeing on it with your partner, that may take some effort.

Whether you are presently in a relationship or not, consider some of the hotter romances and some of the more moderate romances in which you have been. How well does this quote track, and how well has moderation worked for you? It fits my experience quite well.

Now not all romances can be saved from becoming cold by adding more heat; some things just aren’t meant to be. And, conversely, some cannot be cooled down, for all they are is the heat of the moment. Between these extremes are the longer burning fires.

Romance, like a fire, needs to be tended to from time to time. You probably won’t get the desired result by simply tossing more wood on the flames. A properly maintained fire has needs, and requires different actions, depending on the state it is in.

A roaring fire doesn’t react well to having kindling thrown on it. Nor does a low fire, consisting mostly of glowing embers, react well to having a large chunk of green wood thrown on it. Each fire has it’s needs, and if you don’t pay attention, you may do more harm than good.

I used this analogy to frame the question, “How have you treated your romances?” If you aren’t observant, how will you know what that particular fire needs at that particular time? Take a moment and think back through your past romances and see how well this matches your experience.

The point I am trying to make is that if all we focus on is our desires and our needs, and neglect the desires and needs of the other person, we aren’t paying attention to what the fire of romance needs. Even if we are trying to practice moderation, we can still end up in trouble if we aren’t paying attention to the needs of the other.

Hot or cold, our romances, like our fires, need tending to if they are to continue for any length of time. Moderation can help keep things from getting too hot, which often leads to too cold. But in the end, it’s up to us to make sure we’re taking care of things in a proper manner.

From: Twitter, @mister_quotes
confirmed at : http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/202815-the-hottest-love-has-the-coldest-end
Photo by Checiàp

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About philosiblog

I am a thinker, who is spending some time examining those short twitter quotes in greater detail on my blog.
This entry was posted in anger, desire, love, motivation, passion, reflection and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The hottest love has the coldest end.

  1. Simran says:

    Another great post and definitely so true! thank you for making me see it in this perspective 🙂 As we know when something is worth it you wont get it easy or else how can it be worth it! 🙂 Love is something that keeps u inspired to keep moving forward and making it work! 🙂

    • philosiblog says:

      Well, I didn’t make you, but I’m glad you took the time to consider other viewpoints on the topic. I am glad that you were able to find something useful in my post.

  2. philosiblog says:

    Hmmm. Not sure how I did that. This should have been a day for a quote from Seneca. Oh well, at least it was an Ancient, and the name started with an S…

  3. Pingback: Love Contemplation No.4 Indifference and neglect « Contemplating love

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