True Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth. – C.S. Lewis
What does that mean?
This quote is taken from a longer quote on the differences between romantic love and friendship. In it the larger quote (see the confirmed link at the bottom of the post), there are a great number of details regarding the differences between the two.
Suffice to say, the ideal lover is one with whom you also are friends. That said, I would like to look specifically at the concept of more being merrier (to abuse another fairly common quote). The whole reason we have social clubs is for this very reason, more friends truly is merrier.
To me, that is the point of this portion of the quote. Each friend (and each additional friend) brings a little more to the mix, and improve the lives of all the others in the group. In this manner, everyone wins, and no one looses. That is the best possible arrangement, as far as I am concerned.
Why is True Friendship important?
That, I believe is the point of the quote. But first comes the differentiation between just friends, and True Friends. Not the corny comments about waking up in jail with them, or having them help you bury a body, but a true measure of friendship.
Note that in this definition, there is no possessiveness, only openness and sharing. It doesn’t bring out jealousy or anger, but actively encourages others who share the same joy of a topic to join with them. This is what makes clubs and groups of people united by a common enjoyment so much fun to spend our time around.
Now think about how you feel in those groups of like-minded people (at least with respect to this particular topic). Isn’t that a good feeling? I know I like it, even if we have to avoid certain other topics for friends don’t always agree on everything, right? 8)
Where can I apply this in my life?
When I was in Junior High, I learned a lot about playing chess, but only against one specific person. When I started playing other people, whole new avenues opened to me. I saw tactics I had never even thought to try, and made a great many new friends.
I imagine you have some fond memories of friends you made while pursuing a common goal. Special people with whom you spent time with, and probably developed deeper bonds of friendship through the other interests and activities you shared. At least I know that I do, how about you?
Think back over those fond memories and the people who were the most important part of them. Do you still know them? When was the last time you talked to them, sent them a text, an e-mail or a real live letter? Do you even know how to contact them?
Fortunately, there is the internet, with all kinds of search capabilities and social networking sites. A few years back, I went online to try to find a few of my friends from High School, in preparation for a reunion. I was surprised at how many I actually found, and frustrated about the ones who were beyond my ability to locate.
The point is anyone can put out a little effort and have a reasonable chance of finding an old friend. Failing that, there is always the old fashioned way, by talking to mutual friends and getting word out that you’re looking for them, and hopefully finding them in that manner.
Why would you want to find them? To say hi and to renew your friendship. To find out how they are doing, and what they are doing with their lives. In short, to see if there is anything left besides memories and old bonds. In some cases, that’s all that will be left, in others, you may still have common interests.
For those who want to start clean, there is always the action of finding new friends. What are some of your interests? Where will you find like-minded people? If you are into old cars, where is the local car hang-out? That will depend on the age of car you’re interested in, among other things.
Check the internet, the library, City Hall, the newspapers and media for information on those things which interest you. Then all you have to do is actually go out and meet new people and make new friends. That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Even to a dedicated introvert like myself, it’s not too scary.
True friends are easy to spot. They’re not in jail with you talking about how much fun you had, nor are they helping you bury a body or any other silly bit of humor. They are people who are interested in the same things you are, and are working to better themselves, their passion, or the organization, just like you are.
From: Twitter, @CSLewisDaily
confirmed at : http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/349838-those-who-cannot-conceive-friendship-as-a-substantive-love-but in the middle of the second paragraph – a very large and substantial excerpt!
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