I have found the perfect paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. – Mother Teresa
What does that mean?
This is another heart-felt quote, one which leaves me feeling a little warm inside. It starts with an old adage of doing something until it hurts, in this case, the giving of love. Can you think of a time when you gave love until it hurt? Then what? Did you stop there, or did you press on?
The quote considers the result to be a paradox because, it notes, once you have given love to the point where it hurts, the hurt falls away, and all that is left is the love. That may seem a bit trite, but I believe it will work well, even in the general case.
To that end, I have tried to apply this saying to a few instances in my life, and found that it seems to work for me. See the sections below for more details on what I did. I would love to hear from others, especially for those instances where it seems not to work.
Why is giving until it hurts important?
For those who have been in competitive sports, you may have heard this from you coach a few times. If you just give a little, you won’t do very well. If you give a lot, you’ll do better. If you give nearly everything, but stop before it hurts, you’ll do well, but you’ll be beaten by someone who is willing to give it all, to give until it hurts.
In most sports, the ‘hurt’ is real physical pain, brought about by the body being pushed to it’s limit. Pushing past that can result in injury, so one must be careful. However, other times, it’s not a physical pain, but a mental challenge. I’m talking about long distance runners (or cyclists, or even swimmers) when they “hit the wall.”
While this can lead to physical difficulties, it’s generally not the same as a football player trying to push past the point of hurting. Similarly, the hurt described in the quote is not a physical hurt, but an emotional and spiritual hurt. To me, that is the key difference.
I would caution that there may be things in your past that you might want professionals to assist you, as you explore them. I don’t know where that line is, and you will have to determine it for yourself. Be careful, OK?
Where can I apply this in my life?
We are taught to avoid pain. It is how we stay healthy. Fire causes pain, so we stay away. That is well and good for our physical selves, but is it always the proper path for emotional or spiritual pain? This quote suggests that in some realms, avoidance of pain isn’t always the best path.
With some many years time as a buffer, I was able to revisit the loss and pain I felt, associated with my deaths of grandparents. When I first started thinking about the love, the emptiness where they should be was a painful reminder that they were gone.
This was usually all the farther I would go, as the pain can get kind of intense. However, for the sake of trying the quote, I gave more and more love, and (for lack of a better way to describe it) I filled the hole where they were supposed to be.
With that, the pain began to recede, and then disappeared. I still miss them, but when I think of them, it’s with a smile, not with tears. It feels like when I think of them, the love is no longer met with pain of loss, but with a contentment, and even a little joy.
Yes, it sounds a little odd, but I would say that this quote is confirmed, at least in my experiments. I even tried it with my deceased pets, and got similar results. All in all, it was a pleasant experience, and one I will add to my toolbox.
Are you willing to try? My only caution is to be careful on what you focus. If you focus on the loss, you will magnify the loss. Instead, I would try to focus on the good times, the happy times you shared. As anther quote goes “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
You might want to start by trying some of the less upsetting things in your past, and then work your way up to the more painful memories. I focused on pain from loss, so I’m not sure how well it will work with other sources of emotional or spiritual pain.
I would be very appreciative of any comments you would be willing to leave about your experiences in trying this technique, both those which were successful, as well as those which were less than successful. Your comments might include the hint someone else needs to make it work for them, so please share. Thanks.
In the few cases I have tried, I survived pushing past the hurt. I have survived the pain, and for lack of a better way to describe it, burned it away, leaving behind only feelings of tenderness and love.
From: Twitter, @MileyCyrus
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html
Photo by macster7