The things hardest to bear are sweetest to remember.


The things hardest to bear are sweetest to remember. – Seneca

Many people go fishing with Grandpa. (This pic isn't me)

What does that mean?
To me, it speaks of the people and relationships that are no more, but you are now more fond of than ever before. It might include events that occurred with you and them, or other memories. As the pain fades, everything else becomes more prominent, more sweet, as the quote says.

Also, it might remind you of an injury or other hardship, where you had to suffer for a while. It might have been hard to bear at the time, but looking back, it was a very important time for you. You learned what you were made of, and who you could count on. Does any of that sound familiar?

Why is reflection important? 
At thefreedictionary.com, reflection is defined (#3) as “Mental concentration; careful consideration” and “A thought or an opinion resulting from such consideration.” The quote implies that the event has happened in the past, so the concentration and consideration is of an event that has already occurred.

Reflection, as it applies to this quote allows us to see an event in a certain perspective. It allows us to see past the emotions that initially were part of the event, and see so much more of that event. With this perspective, we can better appreciate all that happened, and what it means to us (and to others).

Where can I apply this in my life?
Can you think of a time in your life when an event caused great pain, emotional or physical? How did the feelings you associated with the event change over time? Did the pain become less and other feelings begin to emerge?

When I lost my maternal grandfather, I was devastated inside. He meant a lot to me, and it hurt to watch him slowly get weaker and weaker. It was incredibly painful for many years. The loss was hard to put words to. Grandma was still there, and needed our support, but it was truly difficult.

As time went by, I was able to remember things we did together without also bringing up the pain and the loss. Things like going fishing (one of his favorite things to do) for the last time. We were on the boat and fishing off different ends. After a while, he realized it was awfully quiet on my end of the boat. When he turned around, he found that I, in my boredom, had disassembled one of his favorite reels. Worse yet, I managed to lose several small parts in the process. I was far more interested in how the reel pulled the string back in than in trying to catch a fish.

Grab some paper and try to write down a few events or losses you went through in your past. Not recent past, but at least a few years back. Leave a few lines between each one, so you have at least a little room to write. Feel free to use additional paper as needed.

For each item on the paper, try to remember a few good times that stand out in your memory. If you feel yourself getting emotional, consider letting it out. Your environment and surroundings might dictate what you will choose to do, but consider releasing the emotion instead of bottling it up.

The idea is to come up with some happy or funny memories for each event. Then you can try to think of them when you feel strong emotions of pain or sadness. Smile and remember the good times. It won’t mean you don’t miss them, but you will eventually remember the better parts more than the less pleasant ones.

Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people. You’ve probably heard it before, but it’s true. I try to remember this and reflect on the events and people in my life. The good as well as the bad. Even the bad things have funny stories hiding in them.

Let go of the emotions that drain you, that hold you back or drag you down. Hold on to the memories and the emotions that help you and make you strong. In time, that is what will happen anyway. Don’t wait a decade for it to happen, start working on it now. And don’t forget to keep smiling!

From: Twitter, @philo_quotes
confirmed at : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/l/luciusanna132056.html
Photo by Circa71

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About philosiblog

I am a thinker, who is spending some time examining those short twitter quotes in greater detail on my blog.
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